Christmas countdown

One month to Christmas.

Maybe you didn't hear me correctly. Let me repeat that....its ONE MONTH TO CHRISTMAS!

People, I am freaking out.
Where did November go?
And why am I only realizing this now? I should have been panicking weeks ago, not saving it up for the last minute.

I know there are many of you who don't even begin to think about the Holidays till well after American Thanksgiving. I've even been told some wait for December to begin.
Personally, I've always been more of a "Oh-it's-September-the-leaves-are-falling-OMG!!!-Christmas-is-practically-here!" kind of hysteric.
What can i say? ...it's served me well over the years.




You see, I love Christmas and all it entails - I love the music, the decor, the tree, the hustle and bustle of those city sidewalks...I love everything about it with such a passion that my panic in its being only a month away is more about the running out of "Christmas magic time" than any fear of not finding a gift for all the names on my list.
I want my Christmas to stretch out before me in a heart warming lineup of parties, cookie baking, wine by the fire and assorted Holiday flavored activities.
I don't want one day.
I want my Christmas to last all month long, and with only a few weeks to go, I'm down to the wire of getting the aforementioned activities started.

There lies my panic.
I am way behind.




I know how quickly these next few weeks will pass and I don't want to have it all end with just one day - I want to savor it each and every day - and so should you.

Its the small gestures and quiet moments that make Christmas special for me.


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It's been awhile...

So much has happened while I've been away. I don't even know where, or how, to begin.

Let's make it easy:

- I got pregnant!
After two unsuccessful years
trying, we finally made it happen. ( I don't discount the power of "giving up" and selling off all baby items. Had just sold off the last of the nursery furniture when I found out )

- It was a drama filled pregnancy.
Had originally set out to 'enjoy the process' this time ( I was so nervous when I was carrying Mia, it's all a blur ) So having complications threw a wrench in my 'enjoy being pregnant' plans.

Between competitive growing fibroids, a suddenly overactive thyroid condition and receiving a 50/50 chance for Downs Syndrome - it was an emotional roller coaster 9 months. Fortunately, everything worked out just fine.


- I gave birth to a super cute baby girl!
Named her Tallulah Grace and she is the sweetest little bun ever.


- 6 week old Tallulah Grace suddenly has a fever and we rush to hospital.
It's Meningitis.
I'm devastated.
Cue forward a week, to today, and she is doing great and we will be heading home tomorrow.
Sighs of relief all around.


There you have it. Some of the events of the last year. Well, baby specific events of the last year.
Lots of other interesting non-baby things occurred too but they would require more time (and coffee) for me to recount today.

This is just me saying "Hello, I'm back".

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tummy troubles have struck the household. I would have thought that there was a rule, written somewhere, that when the parents are deathly ill, the children have no business falling ill as well. Am I right? Can I get an "amen"?

Rules were broken in my home and all four of us were feeling the effects of the stomach flu these past couple of days. So not pretty.

So I would have to say that today I am grateful for....minor illness, and how it gives you a little reality check to how wonderful good health really is. I'm grateful for it's swift arrival and departure.

I'm also grateful for my wonderful staff without whom I would not have the peace of mind that I am able to enjoy when forced to stay home, ill, at the busiest time of the year as a retailer. Thank you ladies!

Also grateful to old friends who pick up where you last left off - making me even more acutely aware of how much I love, admire and miss them. 2011's first resolution is to keep in better contact with old and dear friends and my wonderful family.

I'm also super grateful for second chances. Aren't you?

choosing to be happy

I have had, what could very well be, the WORST. DAY. EVER.

Now having said that, and upon retrospect, it's not the worst day ever - it's just been a bit of an emotional roller coaster day with lots of' 'busy' thrown in and lots of driving hither and yon.
I think it's more that I gave into the sad feelings and the overwhelming-ness of everything that made it such a terribly bad day.
Being sick doesn't help and well...it's been crappity crap all around (with a nod to Dottie Angel on that one)

I've read, more than once, that to be happy one must choose to be happy.
Apparently, it really is your choice.
Amazing isn't it? That if you stop for just a second and make that choice - to choose to be happy, to choose to change the direction of your day, it will change your week, your month, your life.
I believe it.
I truly do.

Doesn't mean I practice it as much as I should.  Or could, but I am about to change that.

Consider this.

The top 5 regrets of the dying are:

1. Wish I'd had the courage to live my life true to myself and not the life others expected of me

2. Wish I hadn't worked so hard

3. Wish I had the courage to express my feelings

4.  Wish I had stayed in touch with my friends

5. Wish I had let myself  be happier

Read that again.
Seriously. Read it...again.

Powerful stuff. Found that tonight and I have to say, it's shaken me up a wee bit.

Numbers 1 and 3?  I live them already.
Sometimes it's a struggle but I'm there for the most part.

It's those numbers 2, 4 and 5 that have got me shook up. Yikes.

I'm doing some serious thinking about those...and making changes.

My sweet child deserves a happier mom - heck, I deserve a happier self.
I consider myself to be a happy person but with all the busy in my life, and demands on my time and energy - I can't say that I'm always at my happy best.
I've lost touch with friends and I know I work too much and too hard.

Most days, I think about what I am grateful for, and that seems to get me on the right track.
I've not tried keeping a Gratitude Journal...yet  (we just got some in the shops for Christmas so it's been on my mind lately).
 The people I know who do keep such journals, have felt a real change within themselves and their outlook.

I like that.
I like that such a simple, quiet, sweet task can have such a profound effect.

We all have blue days, we all have troubles and regardless, we all have so much to be grateful for.

A gentle reminder of that is good.

I'm going to start right now.

Tonight, I am so very grateful for...
- the strangely comforting sound of the falling rain against my windowpane
- my healthy little girl
- delivery pizza that my daughter will eat cuz I'm too sick and tired to cook dinner
- the comforting light of candles
- and cold white wine

What are you grateful for?

"the road to hell is paved with good intentions"

Don't I know it!
I won't get into my resolutions for the coming year - I'll save that for future discussion, but I will say that I have not meant to be away, again, for so bloody long.
Life happens.
And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

I'm happy to report that all are well, including my dear mother who is still with us, tho much diminished, but still here nonetheless. So far, so good, and I am hoping this will be a Happy Christmas after all.

And with Christmas on our doorstep I am madly trying to finish my windows and displays for the shops. Mia got sick and now I'm sick....let's just say I'm a wee bit behind.
Normally I'd have the stores done up by mid November, instead I'm up till the wee hours (hmmm...wonder why I'm sick) crafting with old book pages and burning myself with a glue gun.

This years display is all about old paper and it's looking great!
I just need more hands, more time and more stamina...sigh.
I will upload photos shortly!

dottie angel dearies

What a weekend!
I was in Seattle for an ACE camp. It was with the amazing Dottie Angel and I can't even begin to describe how wonderful it all was.
Truly amazing.
I am so happy I managed to get away.
My mom, as some of you may know, is dying and I just couldn't see my way clear to being away for that long (three days!).
Finally, my mom was stable enough and encouraged me to attend.
That did it.
Off I went.
With a newly purchased GPS installed in the Mini (seriously, you don't want to know how bad my lack of direction is) and away I went.
This GPS has given me a renewed sense of freedom - I can now go anywhere without fear of getting lost, never to be heard from again.

With much anticipation, and a healthy dose of trepidation, I arrived...late for the evening meet and greet but absolutely thrilled to be there.
Everyone was wonderful.
All the "dearies" were, and are, amazing women.
Seriously.
Some heavy hitters in the group....Jade....Becki...Christina....Jessie....Debbee...Michelle...Stacy....Rita, Lynn, Lou, Diana and Rita.
Gulp.
Can you say...intimidated?

We ate like kings (queens?) and crafted for two days straight.
Into the wee hours.
The meals were gourmet, wonderful and generous.
The artist Dottie Angel - gracious, incredibly generous and so, so lovely.

I am so very grateful for the wonderful weekend of sewing, learning and sharing.

I promise, I will finally confidently cut into all my beautiful stashed fabrics and make wonderful things happen.

I will.
I will...
I will!

stressful summer

I've been away far too long, and I apologize.

The past few months have been so painful and filled with anxiety and stress.
Some dark, dark days people.
My poor mother has been in and out of Hospital six times in the past two months.
Her condition has been increasingly fragile and I have had to prepare myself for what is essentially, the end.
She has heart failure, kidney failure, has suffered a heart attack, pnuemonia, fluid in her lungs and most recently, a blood clot.
It's been a helluva ride.
Each time I'm told it's gonna be the end and each time she manages to bounce back.

She is a strong woman, that one.
I can only hope that I follow suit and don't go so easily into that good night...

Needless to say (but I'm gonna anyway) I've been devestated at the thought of losing her.
I keep begging God for more time (and He has thus far been gracious enough to extend me some) and I have been trying to make the most of each and every day with her.

Some days are better than others.

The biggest challenge for me has been my own head.
The thoughts and fears that grip me and the back and forth of being in mourning and then...not.

I am emotionally exhausted.
Having my little girl to think about has kept me from completely falling apart.
For that too, I am very grateful.